What is Will Thinking

As promised, ThatGirlEmily is busy unleashing 14 days of vengance, wrath, reprisal, fun, yadda yadda yadda.

Tuesday she posted twice. First one was how she “donated” ol’ Steve’s prized bottles of wine to landscapers she found whilst driving around her neighborhood. Isn’t it kind of a tired old cliche for bored rich wives to fraternize with “the help” when they’ve been wronged? Maybe Emily writes for Desperate Housewives when she isn’t being a successful real estate agent, writing blog posts, or unleashing vengance.

Her second Tuesday post shows a video uploaded to YouTube of Laura and Steve walking around, generally acting somewhat affectionate. Laura and Steve look like the most generic of good-looking models from a casting agency.

Funny how no average looking people (or non-white people for that matter) have affairs in New York and L.A., isn’t it?

Wednesday’s posts have her handing out flyers (which you can see on her site) to New Yorkers while she’s out walking around. I don’t know about everyone else, but I don’t even take the porn flyers they try to hand to you in Vegas, and they have pictures of naked women on them.

In past viral or guerilla marketing campaigns, you get excited about the ads themselves, but the products being advertised are a letdown. I’m already starting to get disappointed with this, and we’re only on Day 4 of “ThatGirlEmily – the 14 days of Fury Tour”. I think maybe ThatGirlEmily jumped the shark on Day 1.

Enough about that for now.

The other stuff today comes from The Tennessean, where a man who changed his middle name last year from “David Leroy Gatchell” to “David None of the Above Gatchell” is suing to get his name on the ballot for November’s gubernatorial election.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Nice!

His website is NoneOfTheAbove-TN.org, and features the tagline “Tennessee: Most of our politicians haven’t been indicted”. HAHAHAHA, I’m really starting to like this guy! If he makes it to the ballot, I might just vote for him if he admits to sort of ripping off (or at least being inspired by) Brewster’s Millions.

The article on the Tennessean does talk about past issues with candidates who have changed their names, like “Byron (Low Tax) Looper” in 1998. Mr. Looper not only lost the election, but actually murdered the incumbent. I guess “Byron (Bussa Cap) Looper” just didn’t have the same ring to it.

This post is tagged ThatGirlEmily, cheating husband billboard, viral marketing, and None of the Above

Will Uncategorized

Good morning, class. Today’s class is going to deal with how to spot a viral marketing campaign.

Our subject today is the blog from ThatGirlEmily. At first glance, this appears to be the blog of a woman who found out her husband has been cheating on her with her best friend. This woman scorned is going to spend the next two weeks making her hubby’s life miserable by humiliating him in various ways, the first of which is by posting a billboard on the side of a building close to where he works in NYC. Here’s the pic…

Now looking at that, you feel a little bad for Emily or Steve, depending on what’s between your legs. If you read the posts made by Emily, you’ll see that she’s a very pissed off girl and that she vows to make the next 14 days rough on ol’ Steve. Fair enough, but reading through the earlier posts makes me a little suspicious.

Here are some clues into how this is fake:

1.) She has no profile. Well, at least not one that has anything other than her gender is female, and an email that goes to a generic GMail account. Normally when people start blogging they err on the side of too much information that they assume no one will ever read.

2.) Comments are turned off. This is to avoid anyone calling her out as a fake and having it seen by everyone. Seems like if you just started a blog you’d want to know people’s opinion on what you write, right?

3.) Normal people misspell stuff and don’t use correct grammar. A lot. This sounds like text copied from some chick-lit novel. Don’t all those start with a heroine who is blindly devoted to her hubby and then her world gets turned upside down, at which point she must gather all her strength and fight against her oppressors?

4.) Amazingly enough, there is a private investigator who has been hired by her brother (thereby proving all men aren’t in fact evil), and this private investigator is immediately available to promptly get to work on her case.

5.) There is a post for every single day. Gee whiz, that’s convenient. If you’ll notice, my posts are generally gapped, because I don’t have time to post every day. Also, I don’t have something to say every day. Despite being a successful real estate agent, she has plenty of time to write incredibly lucid and well-thought-out posts.

6.) Coincidental that this is happening in New York, isn’t it? ‘Steve’ works in NYC, while she runs her real estate biz in the suburbs in New Jersey. Isn’t it incredible how shit like this never happens in Omaha, Nebraska? Funny how everything on TV seems to happen in New York or Los Angeles.

7.) She says she’s going to unleash 14 days of hell on ol’ Steve. Allow me to quote:

It’s going to be 14 days of vengeance. 14 days of unbridled revenge. 14 days of Steven looking over his back to see what’s coming next. Because I’ve decided that 14 days is precisely the amount of time I’ll still devote to that faithless and deceitful husband before I wash my hands of him completely. These 14 days will be a message to all of those nut-sacks who betray their family. Remember in Jamaica, on our honeymoon, when you said we were now a family? Me and you. Oh, you remember! It was on the terrace, in our white satin robes, right after you came prematurely. (Shoulda seen that pattern!) 14 days of misery for Steven, 14 days of reprisal for me, and 14 days of fun for all of you reading this blog!

Welcome to Emily’s 14 Days of WRATH! Wait till you see what I’ve got in store for Steven tomorrow – a wine tasting party with a twist!

I guess we’ll be back tomorrow to see what happens, won’t we? Why 14 days, anyway? I’m guessing it’s because that’s how long this will take to get word out all over the place with man-haters everywhere. This was on the main page of FARK.com this morning, which coincidentally serves as a place where a lot of mainstream media vulture types get their news. What a bizarre coincidence that the first day she posts her declaration of vengance and decides to unleash 14 days of fury that it gets posted on a site with 2 million visitors. If this were real life, it would have been posted on like, day 9 of her vengence spree. It’s pure genius submitting a link like this to Fark. Not only does that site get incredible traffic, but word of this will also go out to the media outlets that use stories from Fark as material. Besides, it’s not news, it’s FARK.com.

8.) After a little detective work by my friend Matt, it turns out that ThatGirlEmily (notice how every identification is the same exact name?) joined a couple of forums, here and here, and posted the exact same message on two different sites. All of this on a day when she was showing real estate to a psychiatrist, running home to post, then going to a PI appointment to find out ol’ Steve was cheating, then running home to post again.

9.) Now this one’s the clincher. In her billboard that’s pictured above, it’s supposedly located in New York close to his office so his coworkers can see it, right? Well apparently there’s another one with the exact same wording on it that’s on Sunset Blvd in Los Angeles. Here’s a picture of that one, thanks to BoiFromTroy:

Everything happens in New York or Los Angeles.

Now, since I’ve (hopefully) convinced you that this is a viral marketing campaign, does that mean I’m not going to check back for the next 14 days? Nope. I’ll check back. If I were really against this sort of thing, I’d refrain from posting about it. After all, isn’t the point of something like this to get people talking about it? Just like the Blair Witch Project and Subservient Chicken, the marketing buzz is going to be better than whatever the actual product is.

How the hell do you go about getting a job doing shit like that, anyway?

This post is tagged ThatGirlEmily, cheating husband billboard, fark, and viral marketing

Will Uncategorized

Another funny email exchange between Squid Dog and me.

On 7/17/06, Squid Dog wrote:
Ahhh, probably not then.
Man, I got some good sun yesterday. Nice reddish base coat.

On 7/17/06, Will wrote:
Nice. I gotta go get some sun, dude. I got a full on famer’s tan

On 7/17/06, Squid Dog wrote:
Yuck. That sucks.

On 7/17/06, Will wrote:
Yep, I’ll be sporting it on your beaches here two weeks from now.

On 7/17/06, Squid Dog wrote:
Nice.

New law — no smoking on the beaches. They passed that law the same week they reinstated the needle exchange program. Doesn’t make sense that there’s more McD’s wrappers and soda cans on the beach than anything else, yet they made it illegal to smoke and they decide to use our money to go ahead and give out drug paraphenalia.

On 7/17/06, Will wrote:
Nice place, your state. More specifically, your city.

As long as they don’t have a no-farmer-tan ordinance in effect, I’ll be fine

On 7/17/06, Squid Dog wrote:
Yeah, we’re pretty messed up. The funny thing is that our mayor is an ex police chief.

I think they passed the no farmer tan law, but it doesn’t go into effect until October…. the same time they will start to enforce the law that sells beer at a discounted rate to minors so they don’t have to sell sex to raise the money to buy it themselves. hahahaha.

On 7/17/06, Will wrote:
Man, do you vote? You should, because you guys have some messed up shit going on down there.

I mean, who do you think votes more, smokers or intravenous drug users?

On 7/17/06, Squid Dog wrote:
I don’t think the needle thing was on the ballot. I think that was a city council thing.

On 7/17/06, Will wrote:
Need to un-elect your representatives, then. I don’t understand how a place that has so much going for it can be so fucked up.

On 7/17/06, Squid Dog wrote:
hahahhaa. No kidding, right? we are messed up bad.

On 7/17/06, Will wrote:
I don’t understand it. You guys are in one of me most beautiful places in the world, and it’s maddening to hear what’s going on there

On 7/17/06, Squid Dog wrote:
Try living it dude.

On 7/17/06, Will wrote:
You’ll notice I live here….

On 7/17/06, Squid Dog wrote:
No kidding, huh? hehehehe.

On 7/17/06, Will wrote:
Although it’s almost as bad there on the opposite side of the pendulum

On 7/17/06, Squid Dog wrote:
I think everyplace has its bad points.

On 7/17/06, Will wrote:
I guess. Everyone here points out that we have a Democrat governor like how some people say ‘some of my best friends are black’ when they say something racist.

On 7/17/06, Squid Dog wrote:
hahahaha. That’s funny.

On 7/17/06, Will wrote:
You guys technically have a Republican governor. Maybe governor is like, the token minority elected official. Kind of like how the HR executive in any given organization is always a woman, generally the only one on the executive team.

On 7/17/06, Squid Dog wrote:
hahaha. Or even Marketing.

On 7/17/06, Will wrote:
Exactly. Seems like half the companies I’ve worked for have both a HR exec who is totally unqualified and there only because she has a vagina and a marketing bunny who’s cute but past her prime and seems to do nothing but party with higer ups from other companies

On 7/17/06, Squid Dog wrote:
hahaha. That is so funny only cause it’s true.

This post is tagged San Diego, marketing bunnies, elected officials, politicians, Human Resources, needle exchange program, Democrat, Republican, Tennessee governor and California governor

Will Uncategorized

OK, there’s not a whole lot that impresses me nowadays with dunks in basketball. However, this qualifies as one of those things that DOES impress me.

Watch the following clip closely..

Folks, that was a 720 degree dunk. Two 360s in the air before jamming it down.

That is impressive.

This post is tagged 720 dunk, Taurian Fontenette, and The Air Up There

Will Uncategorized

So, I was watching reruns of three of my favorite shows (Wrecks to Riches, Overhaulin, and Miami Ink) on TLC last night and I came away with three things…

1.) I don’t understand how a wannabe hot rod builder can screw up an internship with a big time builder like Barry White, but two wannabes in school at UTI did. Kids these days…

2.) Chip Foose has to be the best car designer/builder out there today, with the possible exception of Troy Trepanier, of Rad Rides. Plus, I love the show’s ongoing plot of messing with the car’s owner and secretly tricking out their car. If anyone ever wants to do this to me, please feel free!

3.) Not only is she fucking hot, but Kat Von D is an awesome artist. I wish I had the money to get a portait tattoo done by her.

This post is tagged Wrecks to Riches, Overhaulin, Miami Ink, Barry White, Chip Foose, Troy Trepanier, and Kat Von D

Will Uncategorized

From mildlydisturbed over at LiveJournal…

Westboro Baptist Church at it again.
Although the request is mainly aimed at the motorcycle crowd, fairly certain the 4 wheeled crowd might want to know about this as well

This here is a press release from the Westboro Baptist Church – aka godhatesfags.com. You may have heard of the “Reverend” Fred Phelps, or his loony followers. They’re up to their old antics.

The short of it is on Wednesday July 12th, 2006 they are going to be in Oak Grove / Fort Campbell, KY protesting outside the memorial ceremony of Pvts. Tucker and Menchaca, who you may know as the 2 soldiers who were kidnapped, abducted, taken POW, and then tortured to death, mutilated, and their bodies booby-trapped with explosives. Visual identification of the bodies was impossible, they could only be identified via DNA testing.

Basically the family and friends are going to get to go to the memorial and see signs that their sons died at the hands of an angry god and are now burning in hell.

Should you be interested in doing so, a group called The Patriot Guard Riders will be lining up along Hwy 41 to display flags and otherwise present a non-violent no-sign no screaming counter protest to the Westboro Baptist Church.

The original message from Nashville Riders follows

Passing this on from the Patriot Guard for your consideration . . .
Contact: 931-797-1814 (Kenny)

Wednesday, July 12th
RIDERS NEEDED AT FORT CAMPBELL!

Honor those who protect and die for our rights!

Be in attendance to honor our Heroes and comfort the families. T
his one is REALLY IMPORTANT FOLKS. Please try to be ther to participate!
The Patriot Guard Riders will be staging at the Oak Grove American
Legion at 4:30 PM on Wed July 12th. Take I-24 west to Exit 86 (Oak Grove KY US Hwy 41A), turn left at the end of the ramp and follow US 41a south
approximately 2 miles. The Legion will be on your right directly across from Wal-mart at the north outskirts of town.

The Patriot Guard will be lining up along Hwy 41a to display flags in
support of the soldiers and families of Ft Campbell. A Kansas based
hate group has announced their intent to be present and our intention is
show up in large numbers that will convey overwhelming support. Please bring as many flags as you can, but no signs..we will not dignify or recognize their presence in any manner.

At approximately 6:30pm we will regroup and attend the on post for a
Remembrence Ceremony that honors all the members of the 101st who were killed in action the previous month.

The list for June is pretty long. The Ceremony should end around 9pm.
Anyone riding on Post to the actual ceremony (post regulations) will need the following safety equipment:

DOT helmet, faceshield or goggles(sunglasses not acceptable) full finger gloves, over the ankle boots, long sleeve shirt, refelctive belt or vest. Drivers Lic with motorcycle endorsement, registration, and proof of insurance.

It’s a good thing I don’t have a sniper rifle. These attention whore idiots will get theirs someday. Fuckers. – Will

This post it tagged Westboro Baptist Church, Fred Phelps, Fort Campbell, The Patriot Guard Riders, and Nashville Riders

Will Uncategorized

OK, so I pretty much whiffed on the Master of Champions reviews I had planned to make after each week’s show. I missed last week, and let’s be honest, who knows how much longer that cheesy show is going to be on.

I had the best of intentions, though. I was sitting in front of the TV last Thursday flipping through channels, waiting for 7:00 to roll around. Somewhere way up on the high end of the channels I get I saw it. I could’t not watch it.

It had…him.

You know…HIM!

I gotta admit, I’m a sucker for car movies with Burt Reynolds. Just look at the list of car movies he’s put together: Smokey and the Bandit I and II (he wasn’t in part III, thankfully), Cannonball Run I and II, and even Stroker Ace. Burt Reynolds is to car chase movies what Michael Douglas is to evil women movies. Or at least he used to be. I think old Burt just dropped off the face of the earth between Cannonball Run II and Boogie Nights.

Anyway, why can’t their be any good car chase movies anymore? I mean, people still talk about the car chase in Bullitt. I don’t think anyone even remembers the rest of the movie. I think maybe Gone in 60 Seconds is about the closest in recent memory to a good car guy movie. Sorry Honda guys, but The Fast and the Furious series doesn’t count; you guys were victim of the automotive media using that as a catchphrase for all Japanese cars with more than 100 horsepower.

Who knows why half the crap that they pass off as movies gets made? Seems to me that if you made a movie with a good 30 minute car chase, you could fill the rest up with 60 minutes of paint drying and the car guy/girl population (that’s gotta be at least 100 million people, right) would pay money to see it. You think people tuned into Dukes of Hazzard or Knight Rider for the excellent storylines? ‘Fraid not.

It’s all about the cars, dude.

This post is tagged car chase, moviesThe Fast and the Furious, Burt Reynolds, and Captain Chaos

Will Uncategorized